Sigh…

I want to start out by saying that I left work today in a good mood.  I have the day off tomorrow.  Who doesn’t love a three-day weekend??  I was ready for some relaxation and some fun.  I was feeling good.  So good that I decided I should swing by Kaiser and get my annual flu shot.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have gone there today.

The first thing that I didn’t anticipate was having to wait in line for nearly 1/2 hour.  The waiting didn’t bother me as much as the staying balanced while not leaning on anything.   I had no wall by me.  I felt nervous.

The second thing that I didn’t anticipate was how waiting in a line with other people was going to effect me.  There was an extremely loud woman behind me who either knew half the line or decided that today was the day to make lots of new friends.  Either way, I was already a little on edge since she was shouting in my ear.  Loud sounds, piercing sounds, annoying sounds – they seem to throw my balance off.  I’m very sensitive to them now.  I don’t know why.  At this point, I already felt a little overwhelmed.

Then the loud woman bumped into me.   This caused me to stumble a little.  But all was OK – I was still upright.  Then she bumped me again.  My patience was wearing thin and I was so worried that I was going to fall.  I moved closer to the person in front of me.  Loud woman moved closer to me.  That’s right – she was tailgating me in a flu shot line!!  Then she bumped me a third time.  This time I turned around and said “Excuse me, but you keep bumping into me.”  She acted like she hadn’t known she was doing it and that it wasn’t a big deal.  I felt I needed to explain more so I said, “It’s just that I have balance issues, so if you bump me one more time I’ll probably end up on the floor.”  This statement got me looks from her and her “line friends.”

And this is why I feel so irritated tonight.  These people looked at me like I was making a fuss over nothing.  After all, I look perfectly fine, why was I complaining?  Plus, I’m young so how could I possibly have balance issues?   It is so frustrating to feel sick, to feel dizzy, to feel unsteady and have people stare at you, not believing that something is really wrong with you.

I will try not to let stupid people and insignificant things get me down.  I guess it can’t be rainbows and puppy dogs every day.

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